So while I masturbate I think about this girl along with the others. In the shower it's easy to lose yourself, give fantasies and dreams more heed than during any other part of the day, or maybe that's because my bathroom has no windows, only artificial light, and, of course, the nudity. We're vulnerable while naked, but sometimes the opposite.
And I'm masturbating.... masturbating.... masturbating... a flash of dark skin, another of red hair, a blonde paleness, black mound, sun spots; feelings of regret, resentment, vapidity, self-love, acceptance, confidence, irony, rape, impotence, power, novelty--am I masturbating to introspection? My neck cranes, I don't breathe, I shudder, I sink/sink, light floods back in, I come back. Bits of me are in the drain where they belong, the water long having gone cold.
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