Pilgrim

The first time a sailor from the Old World jerked off in the New, what was his feeling? Was he comforted by the familiar touch in a strange land, distraught that nothing had changed, numb and soggy from the salt water after 71 days at sea, hungry for a new approach to masturbation to couple with the new land? Did he picture Queen Isabella or his idea of a native? Was it in a crude cabin, by the fire, or on board the Pinta, the Nina, or the Santa Maria? Did Columbus walk in on him? Was he killing himself because there was a lack of food and the act of jerking off was essentially suicide: a last, desperate attempt at pleasure within the pain? Did he have any idea that the romanticized freedom the New World idealized might be contained in his jerk? Was he thinking of the population in his cum? Would America have gone smoother if he'd saved that ejaculation for a fertile kitchen maid or Indian? Were his little pilgrims the only ones accustomed to being in an unfamiliar place, the open American air and not the acidic American vagina? Did the cum spill onto the ground, seeping into the deepest foundation of the country to become corn, then tobacco, then cotton, then peppers, then wheat, then oil, then clay, then concrete, then Wi-Fi, then cum on all the computer screens he sailed so long and jerked so hard to provide us?